Exploring Your Parts Using the 6F’s: Meeting Your Protectors

Welcome to a transformative exploration of your inner world through the lens of Internal Family Systems (IFS), a therapeutic approach that sees our psyche as a family of distinct, interacting parts. In this guide, we'll get to know our Protectors using the 6F’s, and delve into the depths of our psyches, unraveling the complexities of our thoughts, emotions, feelings, and sensations.

But don't worry; this isn't some euphemism — no, we're not talking about the birds and the bees, but rather when we say parts, we mean the thoughts, emotions, and sensations that make up your internal landscape. With the 6Fs, we embark on a sincere exploration, discovering how to Find, Focus, Flesh out, Understand our Feelings toward, Befriend, and Address the Fears of our internal parts. And remember, understanding your parts is the first step to comprehending your whole; and no, it's not as scandalous as it sounds!

If you’re not sure what IFS is, and what Parts or Self-energy are, then please read my previous blog post Healing from the Inside Out.

Unveiling Your Parts using the 6F’s

1. FIND the Part Inside

Finding the part involves keen observation and attunement to the nuances within you. It's about noticing how your inner part manifests—whether it's a fleeting thought, an intense emotion, a sensation in your body, or a vivid image. Close your eyes or soften your gaze if you need.

• Where do you feel it in or around your body?

• How do you sense this part?

• How does this part show up, what might you be thinking, feeling or doing?

2. FOCUS on the Part

Once found, stay with the part, focus on it, and notice what it’s like. Create a space for it to express itself.

• How do you experience the part?

• What sensations arise?

• What words or phrases accompany this part?

• Can you visualise this part? What does it look like? Are there colours, shapes, faces?

• How much space does it take up?

• What feelings are connected to it?

3. FLESH Out the Part

Fleshing out a part means delving into its story, understanding its role, and being thorough in the exploration process. Here, we get super curious, like we’re on a first date with it, asking lots of questions and wanting to know who it is.

• Is there anything this part wants to share about who it is?

• Ask the part about its intentions, desires, and fears.

• Explore the part's role in your life. What does it want for you?

• How old is this part? How old does this part think you are?

• What was happening in your life when this part first appeared?

• Who did it learn from, and what are its proud accomplishments?

• What would this part like its name to be?

• Ask how it’s feeling.

• Always ask, is there anything else?

4. How do you FEEL Towards the Part?

Checking in on your feelings towards the part is crucial. Does your response resonate with a sense of Self-energy and understanding, or is there another part that has popped in?

• Ask yourself, how do I feel toward this part?

• Then notice:

  • Does your response carry compassion and understanding? Is your response from indicating Self-energy is present? If yes, you can continue with the process and beFriend the part.

  • If your response involves fear, resistance, judgments, anger, apathy, pain, irritation, etc. — it is likely another part/s has come up.

    • Acknowledge them and understand their source.

    • Ask the part why it has shown up and what its concern is.

    • Does it need you to Find, Focus, and Flesh it Out? Maybe this part needs attention now. If it does, begin the process from Find.

    • If it doesn’t, ask whether it would be willing to step aside and let you connect with the part from a place of curiosity, compassion and calm.

5. BeFRIEND the Part

Befriending involves dialoguing with our parts from Self-energy. Here we are extending compassion, building trust, and expressing appreciation for the part's role.

• Offer a symbolic gesture, like placing your hand on the spot where the part manifests.

• What would you like to give to this part?

• Express gratitude for its efforts and appreciation for what it’s shared.

• Acknowledge the part's significance in your life.

• Ask the part if it feels comfortable with your presence.

• Ask the part what it needs from you.

6. FEARS of the Part

Identifying and addressing the fears of the part is vital for understanding why it has taken on such a strong role in your life. The

• What is this part afraid would happen if it didn’t do its job?

• Keep breaking this down, e.g., if the part responds with, “I’m afraid people would know I’m a fraud”, then ask:

• And then what would happen, if people knew you were a fraud?

• Keep breaking this down until you get to the core fear.

BeFriending (again…)

After the part shares its Fears we validate from Self, addressing any concerns from a compassionate, open-hearted space.

• Understand the part's fears.

• Offer hope for healing and compassion.

• Let it know how you can support its needs.

• Let it know that you get it.

Get creative 🎨

• Use a pen and draw an outline of a body in the middle of a large piece of paper, you could also use a tablet with drawing capabilities.

• Using either chalk, pastels, crayons, pencils, pens, etc. represent where you find the part and work through the 6Fs.

• Notes:

  • It can help to use only one colour per part. This helps you easily distinguish between them if several pop up during the process.

  • Really feel into what colour each part is, allow the part to choose and don’t try to “think” of what the colour should be.

  • If you notice yourself thinking, begin the process with an intellectual part or a thinker part.

Further Thoughts…

The Six F’s aren’t a linear process, we might move from Find to asking how you Feel towards it, then back to Focussing on it, and then Befriending, and Fleshing it out some more. Sometimes our parts aren’t comfortable sharing with Self, they might not trust the Self yet and feel resistance to connecting. Other times, different parts that fear going deeper might pop up.

This is a process of building internal awareness while respecting the pace of our protectors.

It acknowledges that they've been working tirelessly to keep things in check. By taking these deliberate steps, we're earning their trust, addressing their concerns, and getting their permission to go deeper. It's a dance, not a race, ensuring that our parts feel comfortable and heard every step of the way. This way, the exploration is on their terms, allowing for a more profound and sustainable transformation.

Seeking Support for Deeper Wounds

While the 6F's provide a beautiful avenue for relationship building with our protectors, we acknowledge that some journeys may require additional support, especially when dealing with deeper wounds and traumas. The process here is like planting seeds of peace within, allowing them to grow gradually.

If you find that your path involves traversing more complex terrains and you need specialised guidance, you're not alone. Exploring the International and Australian IFS Directories can connect you with experienced practitioners who can offer tailored support on your healing journey.

Additionally, you're welcome to explore the services I offer, aiming to provide a safe space for self-discovery and healing. Your journey is unique, and having the right support can make all the difference. 🌱💖

With compassion,

Tash